My father-in-law passed away recently after a 15-year battle with Parkinson's disease, a disease that usually compounds its physical challenges with that of depression. However, my father-in-law, who often shared that "attitude is everything", showed us what that meant as he faced this disease. As he gradually lost the ability to do one basic function after another, while becoming more and more dependent on others, he demonstrated utmost dignity. He literally never complained and maintained his positive and humorous attitude to the end. He showed us how an old soul faces one of life's very difficult challenges.


Archie Bunker by Rexton at flickr.com

I think of my father-in-law often, even on the golf course. As trivial as golf's challenges are in comparison to something like Parkinson's, learning to meet them with a constructive attitude can help prepare us for those larger challenges we may eventually face in life. I have a pretty good attitude as far as attitudes go, but am nowhere near the stature of someone like my late father-in-law. I admit it, I catch myself complaining or getting upset about a bad break or a bad shot more often that I like. I try to remind myself that golf doesn't have to be about scoring. At its highest, golf can be about learning and transformation, along with enjoyment and recreation. Most of the time, I remember that.

Nevertheless, I still manage to measure my rounds a little too much by score. If I break 80, I'm happy with the round. If I don't break 80, I feel like I failed somehow. Putting too much importance on my golf game has even made me limit other activities I enjoy. I've avoided hockey and snowboarding over the past couple years, in part because I don't want to hurt my back, more than golf already does, and perhaps limit the number of rounds I'd otherwise play. To a degree, I credit the frequency of my play for my speedy improvement. If I jeopardize my ability to play twice a week, perhaps I'll loose the skills and touch I've worked so hard for.

Over the past couple months, I've become more aware of the over-importance I've placed on the quality of my game. This has become evident partly because my game has slipped recently due to my inability to practice as much, but mostly because I've been more aware of my attitude and have noticed more of those little complaints and frustrations. That's really not who I want to be on the golf course.

A particularly horrible finish to a decent round last week really helped me change my attitude.

I walked up to the 18th tee at 7-over. A simple bogie would insure I break my so-important score of 80 (par 71 course). In the heavy fog, my drive failed to carry a mound that encroaches on the left side of the fairway and I found my ball in a tiny little bunker cut into it's upward face. There was really no option but to punch the shot directly sideways back into the fairway. With my feet about 18 inches above the ball, I scalded it all the way across the fairway into a grove of trees. This time, my only option was to actually punch the ball backwards into the fairway. Now, finally in the fairway, lying 3 well short of my normal drive, I hit an iron slightly right of the green and got stuck in some long fescue on a hill bordering that side of the green. My first attempt at lobbing the ball unto the green succeeded only in moving the ball 1 foot forward. I shanked the next attempt 20 feet to the right, leaving me on the same shaggy hill. I finally put the next shot on the green and 2-putted for a quintruple bogie 9!

Although I've had big blowups before, I decided this time to make a permanent change in attitude. I really wasn't that upset about this finish, but I guess I'd grown tired of placing undue importance on breaking a certain score.

The first thing I did was accept an invitation a few days later to start playing roller hockey again, in a 30-over league with some old friends. I played my first game in nearly 4 years on Tuesday night, and although I could hardly breath - or walk a couple days later - I had a blast. I forgot how much fun it was. Committing to playing hockey has already reduced the amount of golf I can play. I was too sore to consider playing until yesterday, my first round in over a week. However, my attitude was much improved, and my game was just fine.

I got through the first 10 holes at just 2-over, but then bogied 5 out of the next 7 holes. Actually, I was pretty happy with some of those bogies. I made some huge putts to prevent recording a single double bogie all round. Like the prior round, I walked up to the 18th needing just a simple bogie to break 80! However, this time, I didn't pay attention to my score. I just looked up and admired some monsterous cumulus nimbus cloud formations building over the Pacific which were just turning red as the sun began to set.

Perhaps distracted by this beauty, but more likely just stiff and tired, I hit my drive so far left that the ball went out of bounds and hit the roof of a house - the first house I'd ever hit on my millions of rounds here! I teed up my second and managed to keep this one in bounds, but only by a couple feet. Now lying 3, well left of the fairway, I shanked my wedge all the way across the fairway to the rough on the right side! The thought of shooting another 9 definitely entered my mind here. But unshaken, I hit my next shot to the far right side of the green, hoping to catch the slope and run across the green to the pin in the back left. Unfortunately, I caught too much of the slope and watched the ball run left with too much speed to stay on the green. Then, all of a sudden, my ball hit another ball that was already on the green, just 5 feet from the pin. His ball moved a little right and my ball went right in the hole! I got my bogie from 80 yards out and broke 80!!

I had to credit my luck to my newfound artful attitude - thanks Dad ;)

Labels: Attitude, Disciplines, Rounds